week 2 - night 5 - 00:58

it's been a crazy night already. we had a kid in the OR when I got here and he just got back about 30 minutes ago and we just got a kid from the NICU who was brought here from Columbus, GA. They just found out he has TGA (transposition of the great arteries: when your Aorta & Pulmonary Artery are reversed...bad news bears) and he was born yesterday..which i think might have been monday?
Anyway, i have learned some stuff, but some of it i remember. if i don't know it, i look it up.
i am hoping to go observe a surgery in the next couple of weeks. maybe during december...that month seems pretty light.
well, i am signing off for now.

5:55 AM - night 3

didn't sleep well at all yesterday either...i think this time i am eating breakfast before I go to bed today. tonight is my last night for the week....whew!

there are some sick babies in here...all have cardiac problems they were born with. there are a couple that are tiny..but they were all created just the same. who knows how God is going to use their defect to impact the lives of others. i have to believe that.
there is one here that had open heart surgery yesterday for HLHS - hypoplastic left heart sydrome - meaning that the whole left side of her heart did not develop fully. so in turn, the mitral valve & aortic valve are either tiny or absent as well as the left ventricle and the first part of the aorta. that is major! the only way to survive is with open heart surgery either with a heart transplant or staged palliation, which comes in 3 operations - the norwood, which is done right after birth and changes the right ventricle into the main ventricle; the bidirectional glenn, which is done at about 6 months of age and directs half the blood returning from the body to the lungs. The last operation, the Fontan operation, is done at 2 years of age and diverts all of the blood returning from the body to the lungs. The survival rate of about 5 years old is 70-75%. Can you imagine having all of that surgery done by the time you were 2 years old?!
Anyway, she was brought up tonight and while I was stocking the room cart, i peeked over and could see her tiny little chest open and her tiny little heart beating. I am still amazed, even though I have seen it before.

God wasn't playing around when he made us.

3:44 a.m - Night One

night shift...again...i didn't sleep at all today, so i am surprised that I am even conscious. maybe it was that quadruple shot latte i had at 7:00 from starbucks...i should try that again. my eyes are burning from my contacts...maybe next time i will bring my case & solution and my glasses...

anywho, i am glad to be back in the CICU. it was a good environment for me to learn in. one of the nurses is going try and get me in on a case with one of the surgeons...that would be awesome! it's quite most of the time, except for the occasional alarms & whatnot...

i am ready for school.. i am ready to have my second chance at making a life & career for myself. i have wasted so many opportunities because it was hard and i gave up...well not this time gosh darnit!! i refuse to give up! no matter how hard it will be, i will not give into the stress. this time around i know what i can eliminate from my schedule and get my priorities straight...I am freakin 31 years old and it's about time i grew up and became an adult.

good morning!